Fyodor Dostoyevsky: The More I love humanity in General the Less I love man in particular 陀思妥耶夫斯基–爱人类恨个人的矛盾

“The more I love humanity in general the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together. I know from experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.”     Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“我越是凡凡地爱人类, 就越不能爱具体的个人。 在梦想里, 我常常计划怎么为人类服务。 如果突然间必须的话, 我真的会走上十字架。 然而, 和任何一个人在同一间屋子相处两天, 我却做不到。 这是我自己的经历。 当一个人近距离靠近我的时候,他的个性就会让我心神不安, 我会觉得他限制了我的自由。 在24小时之内, 我就开始恨世人最好的人。 我恨这个人, 因为他吃饭用了太长的时间; 我恨另一个人, 因为他感冒了, 不停的擤鼻涕。  每当有人靠近我, 我就开始对他们怀有敌意。 我越是恨这些具体的个人, 就越是爱人类。这种事常常发生在我身上”   陀思妥耶夫斯基

陀氏是文学天才, 也是个一生和罪搏斗的坦诚无伪的基督徒, 一个对自己的罪性和罪过有透彻了解的天才心理学家。耶稣基督在人类历史上是独一无二的,一个原因就是耶稣会没有歧视地去爱有血有肉有缺陷有污点的人, 体恤关爱接纳那些不能接纳自己的人。 我们不是耶稣。 我们像陀氏, 常常连自己身边的亲人都不能包容和宽恕。  

学会接纳不完美的自己, 敢于解刨和面对自己, 敢于承认自己的过错, 学会爱身边有种种问题和毛病的人, 学会去关心离我们很遥远的人, 学会去和那些处在中间的人和平相处,跌跌撞撞地尝试着去接纳自己, 接纳他人,爱自己,爱他人,就是跟随耶稣的脚踪…


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